“kill myself” was the most common answer when they contemplated the possibility of life as a girl
Yeah, tell me again how misogyny “isn’t real” and men and boys actually “love”, “like” and “respect the female sex”? This is how deep misogynistic propaganda runs in this world. Men and boys are so viscerally contemptuous of anything or anyone who/that is female or feminine, or perceived to be female or feminine, that they would rather commit suicide than to be associated with— or become a member of— the female sex. As Germaine Greer said, “women have no idea how much men hate them.”
they would rather die then be treated how they treat us
Oh god and the girls replies “Become a doctor, fireman”… Thats so depressing that these girls know that they have a better chance at becoming doctors NOT if they’re qualified, intelligent etc, but if they’re men. This is so fucking sad and infuriating i might punch the next man i see.
“We still live in a binary world in which the idea is imposed on us that there are only two genders; we need to change that perception.”
Laverne Cox photo and interview in The Independent, 01-06-2014. [x]
LAVERNE COX RECOGNISES MY EXISTENCE SO WHY CANT EVERYONE ELSE PLEASE
I did not know this.
The fuck is wrong with rich people ‘hey do you want a second plate’ no i want to make up a secret passive aggressive fork language so we can titter mockingly at that rube from the country who says he enjoyed the meal with his fucking mouth
Actually they are meant as a sign for the waiter, like “please don’t take my plate yet I’m just having a pause” or “yes i know I didn’t eat the side salat but I’m finished nontheless”. It’s to spare confusion.
although the “excellent” and “do not like” ones doesn’t really make sense to me either
As a ex-waitress, the only ones that are actually useful in a restaurant situation are the “pause” and “finished” ones (and are ones i’d been taught when i was little cos apparently thats necessary when you’re having dinner at home.. and now it really annoys me when I’m eating dinner with someone who doesn’t put their cutlery together like that to when they’re done eating and even more so the fact that it annoys me really annoys me cos it doesn’t fucking matter but its been so ingrained into me that i can’t stop the feeling of “oh god please put your cutlery together its making me anxious”… thank you so much “polite” society.. Fuckers.)
Two students, James and John were given a grammar test by their teacher. The question was, “is it better to use “had” or “had had” in this example sentence?”
The teacher collected the tests, and looked over their answers.
James, while John had had “had”, had had “had had.” “Had had” had had a better effect on the teacher.
welcome to the english language
believe it or not we need meat to survive
then how am I still alive? I haven’t eaten meat in 6 years?
Believe it or not, you’re dead. Trust this person. They know what they’re talking about.
Wait so I’m dead too from not eating meat? This is the most depressing news I got all day.
10000000% true. My boyfriend and I are blogging with Jesus.
Omg when did this happen? HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN DEAD!?
- That nudity is inherently sexual
- That people should be judged for their personal decisions
- That yelling solves problems
- That they are too young to be talking about the things they’re already starting to ask questions about
- That age correlates to importance
- That interacting with someone of the opposite sex is inherently romantic
- That the default for someone is straight and cisgender
#trauma #grief #death
1. Trauma permanently changes us.
This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as “getting over it.” The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back to the old me.” You are different now, full stop.
This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life — warts, wisdom, and all — with courage.
2. Presence is always better than distance.
There is a curious illusion that in times of crisis people “need space.” I don’t know where this assumption originated, but in my experience it is almost always false. Trauma is a disfiguring, lonely time even when surrounded in love; to suffer through trauma alone is unbearable. Do not assume others are reaching out, showing up, or covering all the bases.
It is a much lighter burden to say, “Thanks for your love, but please go away,” than to say, “I was hurting and no one cared for me.” If someone says they need space, respect that. Otherwise, err on the side of presence.
3. Healing is seasonal, not linear.
It is true that healing happens with time. But in the recovery wilderness, emotional healing looks less like a line and more like a wobbly figure-8. It’s perfectly common to get stuck in one stage for months, only to jump to another end entirely … only to find yourself back in the same old mud again next year.
Recovery lasts a long, long time. Expect seasons.
4. Surviving trauma takes “firefighters” and “builders.” Very few people are both.
This is a tough one. In times of crisis, we want our family, partner, or dearest friends to be everything for us. But surviving trauma requires at least two types of people: the crisis team — those friends who can drop everything and jump into the fray by your side, and the reconstruction crew — those whose calm, steady care will help nudge you out the door into regaining your footing in the world. In my experience, it is extremely rare for any individual to be both a firefighter and a builder. This is one reason why trauma is a lonely experience. Even if you share suffering with others, no one else will be able to fully walk the road with you the whole way.
A hard lesson of trauma is learning to forgive and love your partner, best friend, or family even when they fail at one of these roles. Conversely, one of the deepest joys is finding both kinds of companions beside you on the journey.
5. Grieving is social, and so is healing.
For as private a pain as trauma is, for all the healing that time and self-work will bring, we are wired for contact. Just as relationships can hurt us most deeply, it is only through relationship that we can be most fully healed.
It’s not easy to know what this looks like — can I trust casual acquaintances with my hurt? If my family is the source of trauma, can they also be the source of healing? How long until this friend walks away? Does communal prayer help or trivialize?
Seeking out shelter in one another requires tremendous courage, but it is a matter of life or paralysis. One way to start is to practice giving shelter to others.
6. Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. Do not, do not, do not.
“I’m so sorry you lost your son, we lost our dog last year … ” “At least it’s not as bad as … ” “You’ll be stronger when this is over.” “God works in all things for good!”
When a loved one is suffering, we want to comfort them. We offer assurances like the ones above when we don’t know what else to say. But from the inside, these often sting as clueless, careless, or just plain false.
Trauma is terrible. What we need in the aftermath is a friend who can swallow her own discomfort and fear, sit beside us, and just let it be terrible for a while.
7. Allow those suffering to tell their own stories.
Of course, someone who has suffered trauma may say, “This made me stronger,” or “I’m lucky it’s only (x) and not (z).” That is their prerogative. There is an enormous gulf between having someone else thrust his unsolicited or misapplied silver linings onto you, and discovering hope for one’s self. The story may ultimately sound very much like “God works in all things for good,” but there will be a galaxy of disfigurement and longing and disorientation in that confession. Give the person struggling through trauma the dignity of discovering and owning for himself where, and if, hope endures.
8. Love shows up in unexpected ways.
This is a mystifying pattern after trauma, particularly for those in broad community: some near-strangers reach out, some close friends fumble to express care. It’s natural for us to weight expressions of love differently: a Hallmark card, while unsatisfying if received from a dear friend, can be deeply touching coming from an old acquaintance.
Ultimately every gesture of love, regardless of the sender, becomes a step along the way to healing. If there are beatitudes for trauma, I’d say the first is, “Blessed are those who give love to anyone in times of hurt, regardless of how recently they’ve talked or awkwardly reconnected or visited cross-country or ignored each other on the metro.” It may not look like what you’d request or expect, but there will be days when surprise love will be the sweetest.
9. Whatever doesn’t kill you …
In 2011, after a publically humiliating year, comedian Conan O’Brien gave students at Dartmouth College the following warning:
"Nietzsche famously said, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ … What he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.”
Odd things show up after a serious loss and creep into every corner of life: insatiable anxiety in places that used to bring you joy, detachment or frustration towards your closest companions, a deep distrust of love or presence or vulnerability.
There will be days when you feel like a quivering, cowardly shell of yourself, when despair yawns as a terrible chasm, when fear paralyzes any chance for pleasure. This is just a fight that has to be won, over and over and over again.
10. … Doesn’t kill you.
Living through trauma may teach you resilience. It may help sustain you and others in times of crisis down the road. It may prompt humility. It may make for deeper seasons of joy. It may even make you stronger.
It also may not.
In the end, the hope of life after trauma is simply that you have life after trauma. The days, in their weird and varied richness, go on. So will you."
Catherine Woodiwiss, “A New Normal: Ten Things I’ve Learned About Trauma” (via braceletofnoor)
OK, so I definitely cried reading this. It is so important for everyone healing or who knows someone who is healing to read.
I do, however, have one thing to add, at least for me. #1, I think, is the most terrifying of these things that happens to us when we become traumatized. If you, like me, loved who you were before trauma, it can be scary to feel like something or someone that we could not control can come into our lives and rip away things we thought that belonged to nobody but us — things that shouldn’t belong to anybody but ourselves.
I had always been so happy and optimistic and as things started to… be traumatizing, I became very scared. I became scared that as the dust cleared, my happiness would no longer be innate and my optimism would seem false at best.
Yes, trauma changes us.
But we don’t have to let it take away what’s inside. I’m different now than I used to be. But I’ve realized my happiness is still innate to me, and my optimism is true as ever. I just have a different route to it than I used to. I used to believe that certain things would turn out OK, because that’s how it works — the world makes things OK. I don’t know how much I believe that anymore. It’s honestly like a knife in my gut to admit this — that some things have no fix and some people will never help you if they have the chance. But that pain is lessened a bit by knowing that I don’t have to rely on others to make the world good or for optimism to be true and worthy. I have to believe that I can always, or at least mostly, make good choices and do kind things. I can make the parts of the world I exist in as good as I can with my own actions. Maybe everyone won’t be a good person, but there will be some. There will be some good people along the way, and we can work together to make the world a better and more fair place.
And somewhere else, there is someone else who is working to make their little portion of the world a better place. And another little group somewhere besides that. I see a lot more sinister things in the world than I used to. And it scared me how much that impacted how deeply different I felt when I was around other people. It scared me to admit that this meant a crucial part of me was different.
But I don’t think, at least not all the time, that we have to let the ways that trauma makes us different mean that trauma has made us any less than we were before. I am not less because of my trauma. I am not less because I different perspectives and experiences. Maybe I am a bit changed, but the things I loved about myself are not gone and are not diminished. I just find them in different places.
I’m not sure that trauma is, in all cases, (certainly in some cases, though. I don’t want to take away from others’ traumas or experiences) like a robbery. For me, trauma is more like someone coming in and rearranging all my furniture and belongings. Everything is there, but in a different place than it used to be — changed, but not gone and not broken. Just changed.
"if you’re straight and white tumblr will lynch you~"
fun fact!! there are actual places in the real irl world today (2014!) where if you are anything other than straight and white you will actually get lynched! literally! they will literally kill you!! isn’t that wild??
George Takei describes the moment when he and his family were sent to an internment camp.
"Another scene I remember now as an adult is every morning at school we started the day with the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag…there was the American flag flying over the camp but I could also see the barbed wire fence and the sentry towers pointing at us from my schoolhouse window as I recited the words ‘With liberty and justice for all’." - George Takei, The Daily Show (July 24, 2014).
Full Episode (apologies, The Daily Show website does not have the best video player).
To Be Takei documentary official website.
- Mod Dawes Sr.
It’s like in the second to last gif the owl is saying “I got kissed by a really cute boy”
This owl is so beautiful??????!!
I will never not reblog this.
It looks like it has make up on c:
Officially less attractive than an owl.